this is not going to be a reflection on the-typical-what-i've-done-this-year reflection. it's going to be a reflection on my character.
i believe ahan to put things to a fullstop, i trust him. after crying every night, most of the time over the phone with him. dont worry, nobody cheated on anyone, it was just me feeling troubled and helpless. i am too concern over what people thinks. too much like a girl
another issue: after hearing what he've said on some stuffs. i thought of it. i realised perhaps i was brought up having "what-i-dont-need" and "what-i-need". as i grow up, i have got "what-i-dont-want" and sometimes "what-i-want". that might be the reason why i turn out to be possesive (according to some people). i'm not finding excuses for complains but i am reflecting on my behaviour that could be considered "unacceptable" for some people. we just have different thoughts, maybe they shld try to be in my shoes. it's not easy for me and my bf to find time together too.
as the youngest and only female i am too over-protected. i know what my problem is. let just hope i can do better next time i am with his friends. this should not get too personal. question comes again who are you to say i'm a lousy gf. but it's ok because it is an opinion. there is no right or wrong. maybe it is really true afterall. ever since i met ahan, i feel like i am in heaven. therefore, i always try to impress his family and friends. when i feel that it's his close friends i will try to be myself after we go out a few times because i thought they understand. maybe i should not make assumation. i know ahan will always defend me no matter what happen but..... (i dont know what to say) i dont want him to always to be caught him between buddies and the one he love. it might me madness for him
i have no friends. or maybe i choose to have no friends? i love girls
like what i always say, i just want to be happy. maybe right now i am in a mess. the clandestine me. i'm happy to be in love with my bestfriend. i have had better days. why does school sucks so much? let me love!
i think i might love to go for cosplay parties. dress up as a trashy killer. "god-knows what they are, i just shot them"
No comments:
Post a Comment