ultra low self-esteem

I'm listening to:give it to me-timbaland

I've been swimming like crazy this week. went swimming just now.. tot it's gonna rain so.. i waited for it to rain. but it didn't! so i went...=)

speaking about low self esteem. i have to admit that. that's like the reason why i don't dare to approach people.. talk to them, make new friends or what soever... saw this guy swimming he used to be from my sec sch.. i actually swim another 6laps before i make up my mind to talk to him. i think it's also partly because I'm shy by nature and after so much failure, it only makes me even more fearful of taking that one extra step out of my comfort zone.

my stretch marks can be like 10m long. =)read urban on Thurs.. found out it's almost impossible to get rib of it unless you go for plastic surgery which cost like 5-digits. *gone*

I'm a bit getting sick of explaining myself. I'm sorry friends if i showed "irritation" to u guys. i'm here alone. i hear an average of 3 "so how?/how's yr class?/how's life?" haa.. i can't really say much.. coz i'm really really quiet in class.

I'm thinking about certain stuffs... maybe i'm just too sensative. maybe it's not what i think. maybe it's because there's too many things surrounding, that's why i didnt get any attention. maybe... maybe...(finding excuses to make myself feel better)